FORE! Pasture Pool Anyone?

My love of writing stems from my love of reading. This isn't an earth-shattering revelation--it's probably true for all writers. But for me, when I originally loved reading, I had zero interest in writing. But life takes you down unique roads sometimes, and here I am today earning my living as a writer for two of the best magazines in trucking. While writing is a big part of my life now, so is reading. And one of my favorite things to read, strangely, is a column in Golf Magazine. Why is this strange? I don't golf.

My husband golfs, however, so Golf Magazine adorns our mailbox (and then our bathroom) monthly. And the final page in Golf Magazine is a column written by a clever Scotsman named David Feherty. I don't only love him because we share a heritage (on my dad's side, who is himself a fan of boldly claiming how cheap he is and then chortling about how it's his Scottish heritage; someone--not me--should point out that "cheap" is not flattering). Anyway. Feherty is clever with words in a way I aspire. And thanks to my hubby's hobby, I know enough of the game to get most of Feherty's barbs, jabs and analogies. Oh, and he also owns multiple dogs including a beagle. Give the man another check in the Pro column.

You might think with my enjoyment of golf on tv--as long as Tiger's playing--and perusing Golf Magazine and considering my husband's own love of the game, along with my grandparents, boss, colleagues and damn near every male friend I have, I'd want to grab some clubs and hit the links myself. Apparently my husband thought the same thing because he bought me a set of clubs a couple Christmas's ago, a set I have played exactly...never. Unless you count swinging a club at my flat tire when I went to leave my house one day. For the record, hitting your flat tire with a nine iron does not help. Maybe I should've went with the driver.

But I have a few legit reasons for keeping golf a game I watch rather than play. For starters, my husband and I are together a lot already. We live together, work together, vacation together, hang out together, hit the town with all our same friends together. Believe me, adding golf to the mix might throw us over the edge. Well, one of us might throw the other off an edge somewhere anyway. I'm doing him a favor by reserving those clubs for um, car repair. And two, don't tell my friends, but I can be a little competitive. And frankly, I don't need the added frustration that I see many others experience with the game. Yeah, yeah, it's about enjoying yourself, relaxing. But how many golfers are happy with the way they play? It never seems to be good enough. And then there's all those hindrances on the courses designed to thwart your perfect shot. Water, sand, trees, cart paths, other players. Without a doubt, I'd hit them all more than I'd hit the green. Anything green. And don't get me started on the cost. Like I need an expensive hobby? Pass.

But play the game or not, it's hard to resist the humor of David Feherty. If you don't play either, don't spend your hard-earned money on a Golf Magazine. Just grab one at a store and loiter in the aisles as you sneak a read of the last page. Yikes! Did I just say that? My Scottish heritage is coming out. Dad would be so proud.