Failure Makes Winning Sweeter

We all know the old adage: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” right? Corny but actually true. Rarely does anyone hit the nail on the head on a first stab at something. It takes time to perfect a skill, to learn the ins and outs, and to fine tune your abilities so that the outcome is success. Last weekend, I lived the adage.

Anyone who has read this blog or my Viewpoint column in Trucker's Connection knows a few things about me. Let’s ignore the boring things (!) and focus on this tidbit: I have a son who is a teenager, a lacrosse player, and the light of my life. Even my husband jokes that on any given day, his ranking in my life falls somewhere between 4 and 5, behind Chase and all my animals. Ha!

Chase has played sports all of his life (somehow he was blessed with athletic skill, not from my genes, I can assure you) and since 4^th grade, he’s been a pretty good lacrosse player. Through the years, he’s played a couple different positions, finally dialing in to the attack position like he was born to be there.

We’ve had ups and downs, wins and losses; he’s usually on a strong team, a contending team, but not always the top team. He plays fall recreational, spring high school, and summer travel ball. He’s tasted victory and championships in the fall and summer seasons but the spring school season—arguably the most important of the three—hadn’t quite hit the championship benchmark.

In the spring 2013, he was captain of the Northview High School freshmen team and lead them as the top scorer to an undefeated season before being brought up to Junior Varsity and then finally to the big show for the end of the Varsity season. For the first time in school history, our team went to the state championship game. It was cool that Chase could be a part of it but it was with a sideline view as a player who hadn’t been there since the beginning. In fact, many of the players who HAD been on Varsity since day one of that season didn’t see the field because it was such a tough, high stakes, close scoring game that we ultimately lost to a team we’d bested earlier in the year.

Talk about highs and lows—to make it to the end for the first time was gigantic. To lose once we got there was horrific. We were new to the scene and like a teenager driving solo for the first time: ecstatic and maybe a little dangerous. The regular season win gave the team a false sense of superiority, and a great group of players came unglued in the high pressure game when much of what they did successfully all season wasn’t evident when it counted most. The loss was devastating and as we licked our wounds and massaged bruised egos, we began looking to the next season and redemption.

This year, Chase made Varsity from the get-go and was the only sophomore to be a starter all season. They charged through the regular season 17-1 with just a single loss to a close town rival who beat us by 3 goals. Post season, we went through each playoff game strong, beating each opponent by more than 10 goals, and we made it once more to the state championship game. This time, we faced a team we hadn’t played at all this season. It was a clean slate; they were a tough team; we came in with the lessons we’d learned last year.

The fans showed up in droves, all decked out in neon colors as a show of vibrant spirit and support. For an hour and a half I was on the verge of tears and do not think I breathed as the game stayed incredibly close—with no more than a one-goal advantage at any point and it fluctuated which of us had it. Toward the end, we stretched our lead by 2 goals. With 12 seconds to go, they scored to tighten the differential to a lonely single point but we held them off for the final seconds to win the state championship, 9-8.

Indeed, the loss from last year was a powerful motivator to see us through to the biggest win ever this year. Chase (#6) played most of the game, and was one of only six players to score. Talk about the icing on his state championship cake!

When it’s happening, it’s hard to realize that losing (a game, a relationship, a business, etc) can one day be a tremendous, maybe even necessary, gift toward a future success. The memory of this success is even sweeter because of the history that lead us there.